June 2025

Written By Paul Fleming

Our new pup

Dear friends, 

For the past several years, I resisted my wife and children’s pleas for us to get a dog. I was trying to prevent our already busy and chaotic household from turning into a total circus. But, I love dogs and I knew it was a matter of when, not if.  As springtime approached, I could feel my resolve softening. Finally, in March, I turned to my wife and said “I think I want us to get a dog.” By early May, we were welcoming Hunter—our adopted three-year-old lab mix—into our home.

With three kids and now a dog at home, having a well-behaved and happy dog is crucial so things don’t get too out of control and everyone stays safe. Because of this, I’ve been knee-deep in books and other resources about how to train a dog. I learned about “fear free” and “positive reinforcement” training methods that avoid punishing an animal for poor behavior but rather redirects and rewards positive behaviors. Reading more about these training methods the past few weeks—while also scrolling through news stories about our troubling world—made me reflect on how these approaches could have applications to helping us build a better world.  

When we think of people fighting for societal change, we often think of pushing back against a bad policy or a scathing critique. We respond to a behavior or policy we don’t like by trying to punish and stamp out that behavior. This of course can work and can be an important tool for making change. But how can positive reinforcement also be a tool we use to get more of the changes we do like?

Evidence from animal training shows that sometimes punishment can actually lead to worse behavior. Punishing a barking dog may just encourage them to bite you the next time they need your attention. Instead, rewarding them when they take a brief break from barking—and doing that repeatedly—will teach them that not barking gets them something they want. Positive reinforcement can help the good behavior crowd out the bad behavior

If we apply this to our role as change-makers, how can we add this tool into our work and our lives? Perhaps we want a decision-maker to make a different choice or we want our neighbors to pitch in to clean the local park. For my dog, a dog treat or belly rub is a significant reward. For humans, we know that people love public praise and feeling important (and treats, maybe donuts could work too :). So, when we know what behavior or choice we want to see from someone, we need to reward it when we see it (or reward even those baby steps towards that behavior). Consistently rewarding that behavior—with public praise, a thank you note, a political donation, a homemade treat, or some other motivator—will help motivate that person to continue doing it.

This tool certainly won’t solve all of our problems in society. But, it can help us re-orient our mindset from only looking for things we don’t like and critiquing. Instead, we can look for small and large examples of people growing the world we want to see and reward and encourage that effort. 

 

Take care and reinforce the good in the world,

Paul

Today’s Key Point: Making a better world possible requires us to consider how we reinforce positive things happening to build towards a better future.

Today’s Reflection Questions:

  • What are examples (small and large) of positive behaviors or policies that are helping to make a better world possible?

  • What have you done—or could you do—to reinforce and reward those positive behaviors or policies?

  • What are rewards that people in your network would respond to? (e.g. hand-written notes? Comments on social media? donations?). How could you incorporate a regular practice of rewarding people or institutions for the good they are doing?

Quote of the Month:

“ Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.”

          —Alice Morse Earle

Inspired reading/listening/viewing:

Paul Fleming
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May 2025